Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Moving On Slowly

Blog post from June 2nd 2008:

"It looks like from now on people are going to be doing their own thing. People are getting married, on the road to getting married, or just have other big time commitments. Things are never going to be how they used to be. The community that I once enjoyed does not exist anymore and it's just going to keep dissolving more and more as time goes on. "

I wish that I could say that things have changed or that I was just being a little dramatic that day. Things aren't as bad as they were during the summer when I wrote the blog post above but they sure aren't great. I'm struggling. I miss my friends. I miss hanging out with people all the time. My friends have helped me become who I am today. It's been difficult for me to accept that things are different. I don't want them to be. That is why I have a desire to start over some place else. But what if the friends that I make in SD or wherever are just as busy as the friends I have now? People everywhere are going to have their own lives with their unique set of responsibilities. I don't know.

Fears

I fear the future. I've spent most of my life dreaming about being a baseball player not a guy working a 9-5 job. I didn't grow up wishing to work in a cubicle. I had bigger dreams for myself. I wish that I had some crazy goal to shoot for, some dream to follow.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Spring Break 2009

I'm currently in the midst of my last spring break as a college student. I don't have any crazy plans like last year when me and the guys were going to watch Mark attempt to woo a girl in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I mainly just want to rest and get some school stuff done. I only have 7 more weeks of school left! (hopefully). The future has been scaring me a lot lately. I've changed my mind a bunch of times with what I want to do after May 24th so I would be careful not to give this week's "plan for the future" too much weight. The game plan after graduation is to take a little bit of time off to relax. I might go on a vacation with my parents and maybe go on a camping trip with the guys. After that I plan on trying to find a job in the San Diego area. I want to find a room or an apt close to the beach. SD is a nice place and it isn't way too far from my parents or friends in Orange County.