Summer School

I'm taking 2 classes this summer. I'm kind of looking forward to them as strange as that sounds. It will make me one step closer to getting my degree. The downside is that my class during the 1st session of the summer starts at 8am. That's not going to be fun. I'm really looking forward to taking Communications classes. My classes right now are pretty bad.

Major Change #4

I'm going to change my major again. This time I'm going with Speech Communication with an emphasis in Interpersonal Communication. I really don't like my current major (Liberal Studies). If you don't know what Liberal Studies is it's just a broad education plan that mostly future elementary school teachers do. I can still graduate next Spring with this new major which is great. As far as what I'm going to do with this new degree, who knows?

Time Passing By

I spend too much time in the future. I wonder about different potentials without spending too much time in the present. I'm not a big fan of the here and now for myself. I lack passion in almost every area of my life. Sometimes I don't even have the desire to get out of my passion-less state. Life is weird.

The Tournament

The CSUF Titans have won the Big West Championship and are headed to the NCAA Basketball Tournament. We haven't made it there since 1978. 30 years ago. It's an exciting time. I was able to make it out to all of the playoff games that we played in this year. It was exhilarating to charge the Anaheim Convention Centers court after time expired in the Championship Game versus UC Irvine. Jumping up and down, yelling, holding my "number one" finger in the air, celebrating with the players. Oh man. It was great.

Semester #6

This semester is filled with crappy classes. Here is the mid-semester review:

Math 303a- Me and math get along about as good as Boston and New York fans. I have been known to flip off multiple unresponsive math text books in my time. It's a boring class where we learn about mostly useless stuff than I will probably never use. I have it at 8:30am which makes it even less enjoyable. The worst part is that I have to take math 303b before I graduate.

English 211- This class is one of my least favorites. I don't do the reading and that is all we talk about in class. I do manage to create some pretty cool doodles in my notebook though.

Liberal Studies 302a- This is the class that I got a C- in that I have to retake. Stupid plus/minus system. We have three exams and that is it. I feel like I did pretty well on the 1st one. I have to take 302b before I graduate which is also a difficult class. I think that I'm going to take it during summer school.

English 341- Children's Literature- This class is similar to English 211 in that we spend a lot of time talking about the assigned reading. The professor assigns a ton of it too. This class is super long going from 4-6:45. It's only on Mondays though.

Biology 453- This is my only class that I have on Fridays. It is a lab and a lecture. It is almost a four hour class. It's not too difficult which is nice. The material is the most interesting out of any class that I am taking this semester.

Where Am Going?

I'm lost. I think about my future all the time. I have about 1 year of school left and I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate. I know, I know "Lots of people are in the same boat". But that only helps ease my frustrations a little. I'm majoring in Liberal Studies which is mainly for people who want to teach elementary school students. I don't want to do that for the rest of my life, or even part of it. I just wish I had my diploma. It's not like high school where you know that your diploma is going to come exactly 4 years after you start HS. There are people here in college that have graduated HS years before I did and are still chasing after that piece of paper. I imagine that it's going to be nice to be a college graduate, but then what?

Why?

Why do I feel so crappy? Why do I feel fine one week and the next I'm feeling depressed? Why do I feel lonely when I have friends who care about me?

I'm in Love

...with the Hope University Cafeteria. Man, this is so cool. I have a buffet within walking distance from my new dorm. I can have as much food as I want. This sure beats the heck out of the days of tv dinners and hot pockets. I have so many choices. I initially said that I wasn't going to live at Hope next year but I'm not so sure anymore.

2008

So many different things can happen this year. I have no clue how it is going to turn out which is part of what makes it exciting. I love how their is always a new beggining every Jan 1st. If your 07 wasn't the greatest, nothing says that 08 can't be better.

Happy Birthday Blog!

Today is the one year anniversary of my first post here on coreofmyinnerbeing.blogspot.com. It has been an interesting year. I would say that it was the best year of my life. I'm hoping that 2008 will be even better. Thanks to everyone who checks this website out. I appreciate it.

Frustrated

I got a C- in my Liberal Studies 302a class. A C- is not a passing grade. I have to take this stupid class over again and it might ruin my plan to graduate in 3 semesters. It's not like I got a D or an F. I got a C-! Frick! It especially frustrating because it ruined my schedule that I was stoked about for next semester. I had classes only on Monday and Wednesday. There are only 2 available sections of 302A available and the one on Monday and Wednesday is at 1pm when I already have a class scheduled. It's not a humongous deal if I graduate in 4.5 years instead of 4 but this C- deal frustrates me.

My New Job

I got a brand new job today. I'm going to be working at Black Angus. I'm stoked about it! I've been wanting to work at a restaraunt for awhile so I'm glad that someting worked out. I'm going to be starting out as a host. Hopefully I can work my way up to be a server eventually. This is my fourth job and hopefully my last for awhile.

Changes

When I was younger I did not like change very much at all. I would hate it when I would have to transition to wearing pants in the winter and shorts in the spring/summer. It was difficult for me to do something different. I'm going to be going through some fairly big changes in the next month or two which I am looking forward to. One of the big changes is in my class schedule for next semester. I only have classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. That might not seem like a huge change but for me it is. I've gone to school Monday through Friday since Kindergarten so it will be cool to have four day weekends and to also have Tuesdays off. As for what I'm going to be doing with all of this free time, I'm not sure. We'll see what happens. I also am going to be moving to the Hope dorms which are right across the street from CSUF. It's going to be fun living with my good friend Mark and being so close to campus. I'm really looking forward to eating at the cafeteria. The CSUF dorms don't have a cafeteria and while I was staying there I lived off of hotpockets, tv dinners and Chef Boyardee for the most part. I'm embracing change as of right now. The start of a new journey is not too far away.

Finals

Finals are next week. Ugh. I have two on Tuesday, two on Wednesday, and one on Thursday. Finals week is pretty much the only time I really stress about school. I don't think that any of my finals are cumilative which is good. Finals are especially a pain for me when I have a grade(s) that are on the border between a C and D. Hopefully everything will work out.

The Last Few Weeks of School

Today is the last day of Thanksgiving vacation. It was been a good one. The week kind of went by fairly quickly. It's all good though. I feel rested and only have 3 more weeks of school left before having around a month off. Finals week, like always, is not going to be fun. If I don't pass my Liberal Studies 302A class it will throw off my plan to graduate in four years without taking summer school or inetercession. I'm a concerned about the upcoming vacation. I still don't have a job and I don't have any major plans except Winter Conference.

The Future

For almost the past half year I have been thinking about the past a lot. Thinking back to when times were good and I was very happy. I look back upon the past few months and I've been wondering where all the time went. It's natural that it is going to take time to heal, but man! I wish I didn't hurt anymore. I wish that I didn't think about the past and I could be stoked about my future. I don't have anyone to be stoked with and that is my problem. I don't enjoy being single. I was single for far too long and now I'm back. I don't need a girlfriend but the happiest I have ever been was when I had one. Life isn't horrible and I'm thankful for the the friendships that I have. Something is missing though.

Reading

I've been doing a lot of reading recently. I just finished a book that I borrowed from DJ titled "The Mark of a Man". It was pretty good. It talked about what it looks like to be a man and discussed what it looks like to be masculine and feminine from a Biblical perspective. Reading is something that I did not enjoy when I was younger. Now it's one of my favorite things to do. I can learn from some really intelligent people without ever leaving the comforts of my apartment. The wisdom that these men and women have learned and written down has changed my way of thinking for the better and hopefully I will be able to pass this acquired knowledge down to those around me in conversation. There are so many books that I would like to read. I wish that I read faster. I want to try to read more books by John Eldredge who is the writer of the book Wild at Heart. I've read three of his books and I've throughly enjoyed them all. Maybe one day I'll be a writer.

Stuff

I want to update the blog but their is nothing specific that I really want to write about exclusively. So, I'm just going to write about some unrelated things:

- I still have to buy at least one more text book. I'm not sure how many I need to get. I really don't like buying books for school. I don't usually enjoy reading them and sometimes I choose not to.

- I'm still reading that book called Prayer by Phillip Yancey. I wish I was in the mood to read more often. I probably would have finished it awhile ago.

- Today was the 1st day of outreach for the outreach team for Campus Crusade. We ended up having 4 spiritual conversations with people. I met a guy who went to my high school. We had the usual "same hs conversation". Do you know this person? We ended up knowing the same people that we asked eachother about.

- The 1st week of school is over. It was packed with stuff that had to get done. Cru was awesome! 117 people! Praise God

- I'm not a big fan of commuting anymore. It's only been a week and I'm tired of facing the dilema of driving 10 min back to the apt and coming back or staying on campus. I really want some trail mix right now that's in the kitchen but I can't get it unless I drive back. Living in the dorms definitely had it's benefits. I wouldn't want to go back, I'm just saying. I could go back and take a nap, eat lunch, watch tv, etc.

- I took a nap in the grass today. I can't remember the last time I fell asleep outside.

- Life is getting better.

1st day of school

Today is the 1st day of my 3rd year of college. Who the heck knows what's going to take place this year. It will be exciting to see what comes my way and where I end up. My life is radically different than where it was a few years ago.

Roomates

Today is the 1st day of having at least one full time roomate at my new place. Hopefully it will turn out well. I think it will. This is the 1st time where I'm living with people who I knew before we actually became roomates. Living in the dorms was alright but it feels good to be living off campus. It has a more "grown up" feel. Living by myself sucked for the past two months. It was cool having my friend Colin stay for awhile before he moved into his apartment around a month ago. "Daniel and the Ryan's Den" was alive and well this summer. For those of you who don't know Daniel and the Ryan's Den was going to be the name of the apartment that DJ, Klement, and some 4th guy (preferably named Ryan) were going to be getting. It didn't work out but whenever the 3 of us get together we call it "the den". Maybe the den will move to a more permanent location in the future. Who knows?