College

My four years at CSUF were pretty life changing. I've changed so much since I was a young freshman back in the fall of 2005. I thought it would be cool to do a breakdown of each of the four years that I spent as a Titan.

Freshman year (2005-2006)- This was my first time living away from home. It was an adjustment period. I ended up going home every weekend. It was good to take a break from eating tv dinners and get a home cooked meal as well as do laundry. I went to Campus Crusade for Christ after going to their high school ministry, Student Venture, during my senior year. It was great meeting people my age who were passionate about God. I went to Fall Retreat and Christmas Conference and grew closer to God and the people who I was with. The begginings of some very solid friendships were established during freshman year.

Sophomore year (2006-2007)- This was my favorite year of college. I joined the leadership team with Crusade and grew very close with the students on the team as well as other people within the movement. I had a lot of fun hanging out with people outside of school. It was a year when a lot of relationships were formed, many of which have ended up in marriage recently.

Junior year (2007-2008)- This was my least favorite year of college. I went through a breakup the summer before and it took a long time for the pain to go away. I left the Crusade leadership team and battled through some tough times. There were definitely some bright spots though. I moved to the Hope International University dorms where my friend Mark was living. We grew a lot closer during this time and now he is one of my best friends. I also changed my major for the fourth time to Speech Communication.

Senior Year (2008-2009)- Senior year was an interesting time. I was in three weddings which was a cool experience. I had never had a really close friend get married before. This past year I was able to spend some quality time with a couple mentors/disiplers. It was beneficial for me to be able to be able to discuss life and the future with these guys. Over the course of the year I spent hours and hours wondering what I was going to do with my life. I had multiple ideas of what I wanted to do from being a baseball card photographer to being a staff member of Campus Crusade for Christ. I still don't know what I want to do but that's alright.

My time in college was a extremely valuable. I grew so much as a person. I met people who I hope will be life-long friends.

Life Update

A lot of things have happened since my last post. I've graduated and am looking for that 9-5 job that I have never really wanted- til now. I'm still really uncertain of where my life is headed. The job search started a couple months ago. I've had a few interviews but nothing has panned out yet. I've heard stories from people who have graduated and it took them 8 months to a year to find a job. I hope it doesn't take me that long. Once I get a job I can move back to Orange County and hang out with friends more easily.

Moving On Slowly

Blog post from June 2nd 2008:

"It looks like from now on people are going to be doing their own thing. People are getting married, on the road to getting married, or just have other big time commitments. Things are never going to be how they used to be. The community that I once enjoyed does not exist anymore and it's just going to keep dissolving more and more as time goes on. "

I wish that I could say that things have changed or that I was just being a little dramatic that day. Things aren't as bad as they were during the summer when I wrote the blog post above but they sure aren't great. I'm struggling. I miss my friends. I miss hanging out with people all the time. My friends have helped me become who I am today. It's been difficult for me to accept that things are different. I don't want them to be. That is why I have a desire to start over some place else. But what if the friends that I make in SD or wherever are just as busy as the friends I have now? People everywhere are going to have their own lives with their unique set of responsibilities. I don't know.

Fears

I fear the future. I've spent most of my life dreaming about being a baseball player not a guy working a 9-5 job. I didn't grow up wishing to work in a cubicle. I had bigger dreams for myself. I wish that I had some crazy goal to shoot for, some dream to follow.

Spring Break 2009

I'm currently in the midst of my last spring break as a college student. I don't have any crazy plans like last year when me and the guys were going to watch Mark attempt to woo a girl in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I mainly just want to rest and get some school stuff done. I only have 7 more weeks of school left! (hopefully). The future has been scaring me a lot lately. I've changed my mind a bunch of times with what I want to do after May 24th so I would be careful not to give this week's "plan for the future" too much weight. The game plan after graduation is to take a little bit of time off to relax. I might go on a vacation with my parents and maybe go on a camping trip with the guys. After that I plan on trying to find a job in the San Diego area. I want to find a room or an apt close to the beach. SD is a nice place and it isn't way too far from my parents or friends in Orange County.

Optimist: Me

I'm an optimist. I feel like is a good characteristic to have. I was looking at one of my blog posts from last January where I was wondering what would happen in 2008. I wondered about what the new year would bring. 2009 looks like it's going to be filled with a lot more uncertainty than any other year of my life. At some point during this year I won't be a student anymore. I've been a student since 1992 when I was five years old. Bill Clinton was in the first year of his presidency. Questions surround me about what life is going to look like. I don't know where I'm going to live. I don't plan on staying in Orange County so I will have to make new friends and acquiantances. I wish I was filled with more optimism that things are going to be great and that it's going to be a wonderful journey. But at the moment, the uncertainty is outweighing those fealings. I'm focused on the upcoming semester. It's my last full semester as a college student. I don't want to take this lifestyle for granted. I know that I'm going to miss it.

Untitled

At the beginning of chapter six in Randy Alcorn's book "The Treasure Principle" is a short story about Alfred Nobel. Nobel is the man who invented dynamite and made a fortune by doing so. In 1888 his brother had passed away and while Alfred was reading a French newspaper he saw an obituary for himself. The author of the column confused the two brothers when he was writing his article. Alcorn writes, " Alfred Nobels's obituary described a man who had gotten rich by helping people kill one another". He was dismayed by what the obituary had said and decided to use his fortune in a positive way. Over $9 million of his savings went towards funding awards for people who dedicated time and energy to helping others. Nobel Prizes are still given out today and are one of the most highly recognized awards a person can receive.
What a cool story! He saw how people were going to view him had he died the day that his brother passed away. He made significant changes to ensure that he didn't have a legacy that was about death. Randy Alcorn's book has been eye opening. Reading about treasures in heaven is not something I had normally done. I'm so wrapped up in this present life that I often don't give too much thought about heaven and what it's going to be like.

East Coast

I want to move to the East Coast, preferably New York. I don't really want to be in Southern California anymore. I want to experience life living somewhere else for awhile. I haven't been out of California since 2006 and I've only left twice since starting college. I want to start over somewhere else.

Fall 08 Classes

This is my first full semester as a Speech Communication major. I like most of my classes way more than my Liberal Studies classes that I was taking last semester. Here is my opinion my schedule so far:

HCOM 300- Intro to Research in Speech Communication: This class is my least favorite class out of the six. I was warned by my friend Michelle not to take this class from this particular professor. CSUF was only offering this class at one time this semester (8am MWF).. I had to take it either this semester or next so I thought I might as well just take it. I had a feeling that I should. It's a difficult class but I'm just going to have to work a little bit harder.

HCOM 200- Human Communication: Not a very fun class either. We learn about a bunch of communication theories but it is somewhat interesting since we talk about real life issues when it comes to communicating.

HCOM 308- Quantitative Research Methods: This is my second to least favorite class. I don't really care about doing research and different kinds of studies within the communication field. I have this same professor for my HCOM 332 class.

HCOM 220- Interpersonal Conflict Management: I enjoy this class. Interesting topic. Good professor.

HCOM 332- Process of Social Influence: Good class. We talk about advertising a lot and other ways that people try to persuade us.

HCOM 360- Nonverbal Communication: This is my favorite class of them all. Great professor. Very interesting topic.

Summer 08

This summer was pretty cool. It's over now having officially starting my senior year this morning but I enjoyed it. I was in school for two straight sessions of summer school but I enjoyed the classes and it was nice having somewhat of a routine. I got into photography which I enjoy a lot and still have a lot to learn. Being a full-time photographer is the game plan once I graduate next May. My friend Lauren designed my logo and my business card which I'm excited to get printed and passed out to friends and potential clients. I went on a fishing trip up to the Sierra's right after I finished my last final and packed up my remaining items from my dorm. It was good trip even though I wasn't feeling too well. My summer kind of was like a regular semester but instead of taking a bunch of classes I was only taking one for a few hours on three straight days. I still lived out in Orange County, still worked at BA, hung out with friends, and went to Rock Harbor. Summer wasn't bad and taking the two classes this summer were necessary in order for my to graduate next May. I'm stoked about graduating and I think about it far too often. It's exciting though and I enjoy thinking about what life is going to be like.

Hope Regained

I'm back at the Hope International University dorms once again. I didn't really want to come back here for my senior year but that is the way that things worked out. It's not that bad and I definitely am enjoying eating at cafeteria once again.

What I've Been Up To

This summer has been unique. Lots of things have happened that I could not have predicted. I plan on writing an entry summarizing my summer before school starts in a few weeks. I haven't been very persistant with keeping up the blog but since I have a speech tomorrow that I'm procrastinating on, I thought it was apropos for me to write something:

- The speech that I'm working on is for my Public Speaking class. We've done four speaches already and this one is the last speech of the class. I'm talking about drunk driving and the ways to prevent it from happening. I've enjoyed this class. My professor is a super nice lady who has a ton of personality. This has been one of my top 5 favorite classes at Cal State Fullerton so far.

- My friend Chad was able to get my website developed and looking nice. You can check it out at maguirephotos.com . The main thing that is holding me back from going all out with this photography stuff is not having a legit logo. I have a few friends who are into graphic design but I'm not super close to anyone of them. Once I get a nice looking logo I can get my business cards out and hopefully start getting some more gigs. I have some stuff lined up but all of the dates are TBA.

- It looks like I might be going back to the Hope International dorms for my last year of college. I'm not super excited to be going back and things might ultimately change. It would be great to grub at the cafeteria again but I like the "grown up" feel of having the apartment.

- I've done a decent amount of reading this summer. Just finished a book called "Prophet of the Sandlots" by Mark Winegardner. The author traveled for around a year with an old baseball scout who was arguably the most successful scout in the history of baseball.

- I registered for classes a few weeks ago and will pick one last class once Titan II begins. I'm only going to classes Tuesday and Thursday and I have one class Wednesday at four. One of my goals for this last semester is to strike a good balance between wanting to graduate and enjoying my last year of school. I know that I'm going to miss college once I've graduated but I also just want to be finished with it and move on to the next chapter of my life.

Photography

I'm starting to get into photography. There is so much stuff to learn! It's not as simple as I thought it was going to be. Thankfully I have friends who know what they are doing and are willing to help a brother out when he has a question or two. I want to start shooting weddings eventually. I might be shooting my manager at Black Angus' wedding. That should be cool and it would allow me to build my portfolio. I'm trying to set up my website (www.maguirephotos.com) but I've been having trouble logging into the control panel from hostmonster.com. Hopefully the website will be up and running sometime this week. I could potentially see myself being a full-time photographer.

Not Living the Dream

I wish I was playing professional baseball. That's been my dream since I was a kid. I'm reading a book right now called "Harvard Boys" which is about a guy named John Wolff who played baseball at Harvard and then was drafted by the Chicago White Sox. He journals about his day to day experiences playing minor league ball and after most of the entries his dad comments about his experience playing pro ball back when he was younger. I wish I could be playing baseball everyday, working my way through the minor leagues. I could be working everyday to try to make it to the big leagues with a ton of other guys who have the exact same goal. The competition would be amazing! I'm just one of millions of people who will never get that shot.

People

It looks like from now on people are going to be doing their own thing. People are getting married, on the road to getting married, or just have other big time commitments. Things are never going to be how they used to be. The community that I once enjoyed does not exist anymore and it's just going to keep dissolving more and more as time goes on. After graduation who knows what things are going to look like. People are going to move away and the most interaction we will have is maybe a facebook message here and there. It's just part of life. Full-time jobs, house payments, children and other responsibilities are just around the corner for some.

Home

It feels so good to have a permanent place to live. I'm going to be staying at my friend Bryson's apartment for the summer. I was crashing at my old apt and my friend James' place for almost a week. I feel like I can breathe a lot easier now. Not having your own place can be stressful.

The Cause

I want to find a cause to fight for. I've been thinking recently and I've come to the conclusion that I want to have an occupation where I'm making a difference in the world and in individual people's lives. I'm just not sure what that is going to look like. What cause do I want to fight for? There are so many to choose from. One of my favorite quotes is from a man named Gil Bailie. One of my favorite authors John Eldredge used this quote in his famous book Wild at Heart. Baile says, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive". I can see why John would dig that quote. I want to find something that makes me feel completely alive. I want to put my whole heart into something and try to change things for the better.

Summer

It's almost here! I want to do a lot of things this summer. I still have school and work but there is so much more I plan on doing. I want to learn how do play the piano. Everybody and their mother plays the guitar but I want to try something different. I plan on looking on ebay soon for a somewhat inexpensive keyboard. I also want to learn how to drive a stick shift. It's a skill that could come in handy one of these days. I want to use a decent amount of my time reading some of the many books that I want to check out. I've recently gotten into working out so I plan on continuing to do that as well.

The Books I Read

I like to read books about peoples lives. How did this person deal with the circumstances that they were born into? What were their dreams? How did they try to achieve them? What obstacles were in their way and how did they overcome them? How did they learn from their failures? I haven't really lived too much during my 21 years. I've done some pretty cool things and seen some beautiful places but there is so much more that I want to see and do. Hopefully the journey is just beggining. I find it interesting reading about what people do with their lives. I'm in the midst of two autobiographical books right now which detail two very different lives:

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch has pancreatic cancer and only has a few months to live. He was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburg and gave his "last lecture" detailing what he learned in life and how he fulfilled his dreams. He is trying to make the most of his time left on earth by spending time with his family and by just enjoying life. He was recently named one of the 100 Most Influential People by Time Magazine. Video of his last lecture can be found on the internet if you want to check it out.

Tweak by Nic Sheff

Nic Sheff messed up his life by getting into drugs. He was from the Bay Area and then went to college out in Massachusetts. He starts doing crystal meth and soon becomes an addict. I'm at the part of the book where him and a friend start dealing the stuff.

Both of these men had similar chances to do whatever they wanted with their lives. One became a college professor who specialized in virtual reality systems while the other messed up his life significantly at an early age by getting into drugs. I find it interesting to see what people do with their time here on earth.

The End of the Semester

I have one more day of class on Friday and then finals next week. I'm so looking forward to being done with this semester. To know that I never have to take math, science, english or history again is a good feeling. It's all communications from here on out. Whether I'm going to like that is a different story. I've only taken one communications class which was during my freshman year. I didn't really like it way too much but it wasn't horrible. Finals week is usually no fun, but after my last final on Friday I'm going fishing and camping with some friends which should be cool. I'm definitely not the best fisherman in the world though. I haven't caught a fish in about 10 years. It's not that I haven't gone fishing since then but when I go I just don't get catch any when I go. It's kind of embarassing seing little kids fishing alongside of you pulling in fish while you haven't even gotten a bite.