Wednesday, January 17, 2007

State of the Core- Not so Good

The state of my core right now is pretty crappy. It's ridiculous. Nothing tragic has happened to me or anything. It's not like a friend/family member died, broke up with a girlfriend, got in a fight, or anything of the sort. My problems are extremely miniscule compared to others. I feel pretty directionless right now. There isn't really any finish line that I'm racing to. I'm just living life with no tangible goals or objectives. I keep telling myself that I'm not depressed but sometimes I'm not so sure. Sometimes I'm just happy, smiling, and laughing. At other times I'm just down for no apparent reason. I don't like the way that the state of my core fluctuates. I guess that's just life though.

5 comments:

Jessica said...

Hey Mac,
I know sometimes life can just get you down and feel like it has no point. But keep at it. You're still young even though it doesn't feel like it, I mean being in your twenties and all (jk) but sooner or later you'll find something to work for and your finish line will soon come in sight. But you do have to run the marathon before you can finish. So just hang in there and you'll do great. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you, if anyone knows about a rollercoaster of emotions it's me. Catch ya later.

AJ Harbison said...

Ryan! Hardcore! Dude!

So I'm finally getting around to reading your blog, and just to warn you my comment will probably be really long since I'm catching up on all the previous entries. And because it's 2:41 am.

With this entry, I totally know how you feel. I often have the feeling that I'm just sort of winging my way through life, not really putting down roots anywhere or setting goals but just getting by. A really great songwriter I once knew immortalized this feeling in the word, and the song, "Coastin'." ;) In all seriousness, though, that song has become a reminder of the kind of life that I've often lived, and the kind of life that I must be careful to avoid. I feel like I've had a really easy life, in general--I haven't gone through any horribly painful experiences. But a coastin' life which avoids pain also avoids true and lasting joy. It's worth it to take the risk, to truly LIVE the abundant life to which Christ calls us.

Here's to a life that never settles to "coast on thru."

AJ
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AJ Harbison said...

So I decided just to break it up into two comments, after all.

I really enjoyed reading all your entries up to this point. I know, as a fellow introvert, how often it's easier to express thoughts (and they're expressed better) in writing rather than in speaking--I'm exactly the same way. Thanks for being honest and sharing your core with us.

Specific comment #1: R.C. Sproul rocks the world. Sproul is to Reformed and Presbyterian Christianity what Rick Warren is to mainstream evangelicalism. Boo-yah.

Specific comment #2: DUDE! How do you know Midnight Hour?! The lead singer, Brad, was the frontman for the band I played in in high school--we started out as a youth praise team that wasn't very good and ended up as a rock band that, well, rocked. And now Brad has an amazing voice and has another band which apparently is really good. So, do I get points for knowing somebody famous?

I will add you to my RSS reader immediately; you can expect me as a frequent visitor.

Keep rockin' the blog world.

AJ
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Idhrendur said...

Don't feel bad because the stuff you're going through seems minor. having been through stuff both maor and minor, I consider none of it miniscule. Finding direction is tough and to be without it is nasty. Thanks for opening up a little on the blog. I'll be reading.

Amy Grace said...

The ENFJ in me really wants to fix this!! We should talk!!