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I feel like I should write something. The blog went on hiatus for a few months but it's making a comback, hopefully to stay. I used to love writing about my core when I first started this thing. The status of my core has obviously been better than what it is now but thats life.

Here's what I've been up to lately:

-Read a book by the former Korn guitarist "Head". It was cool reading about his testimony of turning away from drugs, alcohol, partying, etc into a life that is trying to serve God. I've also started a few other books. One is called prayer by Phillip Yancey and the other is a book about William Wilberforce who helped fight slavery in Britain.


- Work. Its boring. I work at the OC Register in their cafeteria. Plus side- there is a tv, so I get to watch Sportscenter and Angels games when they are on the east coast.

Accounting Sucks

Don't take accounting unless you have to. It is horrible. It's confusing stuff. It's almost as if Iam taking a foreign language. I probably know more spanish than I do accouting principles. I have a test tomorrow and I'm frustrated and I feel like venting. This class is one of the main reasons why I'm probably going to change my major. I know not all business classes are like this, but my other business classes are a drag as well. I can't see myself doing this kind of stuff for the rest of my life.

Bass

I'm currently in the process of learning how to play bass guitar. It has been a really good experience so far. I attempted to learn how to play guitar throughout HS but I gave up repeatedly. The bass is cool since for most songs you only use two strings. It is also great having two people giving me free lessons. I would like to send some online hand pounds out to Amy Grace and Nat. I really appreciate it guys. With guitar I tried to teach myself by finding tabs of my favorite songs and trying to play those. I was often left confused and frustrated. If I could have any job in the world my first choice would be to be a baseball player but my second choice would be to play in a band. I hope that will happen someday.

Change

It's crazy to think about how much I have grown as a person since college started. I feel like I've even changed a lot since the beggining of this school year. I'm becoming more of the person that I want to be. I used to be almost a completely different person not too long ago. I like the direction where my life is going.

Let it Flow

I started writing a blog entry about my summer project but I wasn't feeling inspired to write about it, so it didn't sound too well. I don't want to force a blog entry if I'm not feeling it. I'm going to write on the fly in this post and whatever comes out naturally is what you'll hear.

- I woke up at 6 in morning today to write a paper for my Women in American Society class. I knocked it out in a couple hours. I enjoy procrastinating until the last moment. I feel like I do beter under pressure with school stuff.

- I wanted to go to the CSUF baseball game tonight but was unable to due to the Campus Crusade leadership team meeting. It's fine. I imagine that I will go to plenty of Titan games in my lifetime. I'm probably going to at least one game this weekend against Rice University.

- I'm on the look out for new bands that I enjoy listening to. I'm really starting to get into two different bands: Much the Same and Procession Came Opposite. I doubt that you have heard of them but they are two extremely good bands. Lots of energy.

-I have been thinking about how people complain that CSUF is a comuter school. I feel like it is almost a good thing that it is. If it wasn't then I doubt I would still be in contact with my friends as much after I graduate because everyone would be living far away from eachother. I hope that we all still see eachother on a regular basis after graduation.

- I wish I played guitar and could sing well. I would love to be in a band. Often times when I'm cruisin down Imperial, I rock out to a cd and imagine that I'm singing at a gig. But then I realize that I have a crappy voice and it bums me out a little. Another dream of mine that probably will never happen.

- The status of my core is pretty good. Life is going well right now

The Journey

I feel like I'm lost on a journey with no destination. I don't know where I'm going with my life. I'm in one of those Ecclesiastes modes. There is no real finish line in my life right now. I'm just living life hoping that I will stumble accross what I'm meant to do. I know that I shouldn't be concerned about the future but it's hard not to be when the real world is not too far away. For most of my life I had a journey: I was going to be a pro baseball player. When that dream experienced a slow and painful death I was left directionless. There were a few mirages of finish lines but they probably wouldn't have satisfied my desires. Whatever they are.

Home

Today I went back home to my parents house in Murrieta. I wasn't planning on coming home this weekend but I decided to after I got up from my nap this afternoon. It took me about 2 hours due to traffic. It usually only takes an hour. During my freshman year of college I went home every single weekend. I wanted to be here with all of the comforts that I was used to for the previous 18 years of my life. Last weekend when I went home it was the 1st time that I had made the trek down here in over a month. I enjoy being at college on the weekends. Pretty much all of my friends live in Orange or LA county so it would make sense for me to stay up there. My dorm is starting to feel more and more like a home. I always used to correct my parents when they call my dorm my "home" because I felt that home is where they were. I'm starting to feel like the dorm is now my home whereas my parents house is starting to feel more like a hotel.

I feel like I should write something

Tonight at the Campus Crusade leadership team meeting I was thinking that I should update my blog. I don't really have anything in particular that I want to write about so I'm probably going to write about a bunch of unrelated events. Here we go:

-I have been thinking about my future recently. I wonder what my life if going to look like after college. It's a reality that I don't want to face. That kinda sucks because you should always be stoked about what's coming up in your life. I think about in what capacity that I'm going to be serving God. Right now it's easy through Campus Crusade but I'm not always going to be in college, unfortunately.

- I have an Accounting test tomorrow. I have been procrastinating with the hw and studying. I don't like this class.

- I applied to be an RA yesterday. I really hope I get the job! I will find out later this week.

- One of my favorite bands, Kings to You, are playing a show one week from tonight at the Alley in downtown Fullerton. I won't be able to go since I have a leadership team meeting. I'm going to try to go to their cd release party concert in San Marcos in mid-March.

-I rented a dvd at Blockbuster that has 8 episodes of the tv show Dinosaurs. I have been thinking about this show for awhile and how it is never in reruns. It has been fun watching episodes that I haven't seen for around 10 years.

-Valentines day: It has traditionally been a sad day for the Rymac. This year I'm not worried about it. I'm going to watch the Titans demolish the 49ers and dethrone them of their 1st place status.

-I had some BBQ chicken Hotpockets today. They were really good. I would suggest that you go and buy some immediately.

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What would our lives, friends, family, campus, generation, country, world look like if we each individually devoted our lives only to the Kingdom of God?

A Day in the Life of Rymac- Part II

(If you haven't read the post that I wrote yesterday I would suggest reading that one first because we're going in chronological order)

3ish o'clock: Went back to the library to finish Fury. It seems like I had to pay attention a lot more than I would for a current movie. After finishing it I decided to check the database for dvds since I had only been looking at the vhs tapes. I found a documentary about the Kent State shootings that took place during the Vietnam War. I didn't know too much about the incident but I had heard bits and pieces about it. I was just about to check it out and then someone called me

4:00- The Danimal himself called me to see if he wanted to hang out for a little while Crista was baby-sitting Brent "Stun 'em" Dunnam's baby. We went to Sports Challet to look for a basketball bag. Then we went to my dorm and relaxed. He showed me a couple cool websites. The first is pandora.com . This site is just what I needed! You type in a band and it will play a song by them and songs from other bands that have a similar sound. I love it! I'm always looking for new music on myspace and purevolume.com but this makes my job so much easier. Also, he showed me how to see trailers for upcoming movies on apple.com .

7:00- I went to Molcasalsa with my roomate Rolando. I probably go to this place at least twice a week. I got some carne asade fries (carne asada, fries, beans, cheese, gucamole, and sour cream). My friend Sarah introduced me to Molcasalsa after we went to Rock Harbor one Sunday morning. I wanted to go to a place that I had never been before and a place that wasn't your typical fast food resturaunt. We drove around for a little while and saw Molcasalsa and the rest is history.

8:00: Went back to the library and checked out the documentary about the Kent State shootings. It was very well made. I also watched part of a video about the brain and thinking. It was interesting.

That was about it for my Thursday. It was a pretty good day overall.

A Day in the Life of Rymac- Part I

I decided early today that I was going to write a blog entry of a day in the life of myself. So here we go:

7:05am- I heard the most annoying sound known to man, my alarm clock. I was suprised I was as tired as I was since I had gone to bed before midnight the night before. I got my cell phone and set the alarm till 7:25, after that went off I set it till 7:35. I was still tired so I set it till 7:42. I finally got out of bed and checked my facebook because I'm obsessed with it. It's getting to the point where I might need some clinical help. Ok, it's not that bad and I'm getting better in terms of not checking it every waking hour of my waking existence.

8:25am- I got to my math class 25ish minutes late. I didn't care though. I've only been on time to that class a few times the whole semester. The best thing about class today is that class only lasted about 10-15 minutes after I got there! My next class was at 11:30 so I had a very large break. I went to the alumni lounge in the TSU and read some in the book of Luke. I was feeling pretty hungry and in need of some grubski so I made my way over to Busy Bee. Orange Chicken combo plate with fried rice and chowmein. The lady who got the food gave me a ton of orange chicken which is always good. The day before when I was at Long Beach State my new friend Heather and I went over to Panda Express and she kinda got short-changed on her orange chicken. So I ate lunch at 9:30am which is weird but good.

10:00am- I decided I was going to go to the library and watch a movie. I found two different films. The one that I ended up watching during this session was called Fury. It was released in 1936. It wasn't that great. I would write about the movie but I feel like this is going to be a long post already.

11:30- Economics class. Ugh. This guy/class is so boring. He is offering us extra credit if we watch the documentary Biggie and Tupac, which is pretty cool. Whenever he would talk about Tupac he would always pronounce it "two pack". That was pretty funny, I'm not going to lie.

11:43: Walked as fast as I could to Richard "Good Bye Lunna" s show in the TSU Pub. I was able to catch the final two songs and I was thoroughly impressed. I had checked out his myspace music site but I wasn't that impressed. He sounded great live! I grabbed a demo and headed of to the land of boredom (also known as class).

1:05- Went to Women in American Society and was bored out of my mind. I really don't want to talk about it. I will probably start counting down the remaining days I have left in that class.

2:15ish: Went to the career center to see if they could help me make a resume since I need one. I'm going to apply to be an RA for the rest of this semester since there are two brand new openings since two guys recently got fired. It would be nice to have some spending money for things like cds, Molcasalsa, and random expenditures.

I've just decided that I'm going to make this a two part series. I know all of you are desperately wondering what other amazing things happened today but they will have to wait till tomorrow.

Classes

So far my classes this semester are way different than the last few semesters of college. The major classes that I'm taking are a pain. Here is an analysis of all of the courses that I'm taking:

Math 115 College Algebra: This is the class that I got a D- in last semester. I have this class at 8am and I'm routinely 10-20 minutes late everyday. I really don't care about this class. I know how to do most of the stuff already. On the plus side having the D- prevented me from advancing to Math 135 Business Calculus. I really don't want to take that class. Hopefully I can pick a major that I'm half way interested in before I have to take that.

Business Management 246: This class is only good because the professor makes it entertaining. This is probably my favorite class (which isn't saying much). I tend to judge my like/dislikeness of a class by how funny the prof is.

Accounting: Oh my goodness! This is by far my least favorite class times 10. This guy doesn't have teaching skills at all. This stuff is hard and he doesn't explain it well.

Economics: This class is my second least favorite. Not a great prof. Boring topic. Hour and fifteen minutes of pure boredom.

Women in American Society: Many of you might be thinking "why would you take this class Ryan?". Well the answer is that I needed an upper division GE class and I did not feel like taking an math, science, or foreign language. This class, just like economics, is an hour and fifteen minutes of pure boredom. There are only 3 other guys in the class, which I normally wouldn't mind (if you know what I mean).

Overall, this semester is going to suck for classes. Campus Crusade-wise, it looks to be pretty freakin awesome! I care way more about Crusade so it is easier to get through the boredom of class.

The Rock Show

I just got back from a concert in San Juan Capistrano. It was a lot of fun! My friend Allison and I made the trip down to south Orange County to see one of my favorite bands, Spacepilot. They are an unsigned band from Laguna Nigel whom I found on the internet. The show was at the Coach House off of Camino Capistrano. Here is what went down:

Cory Benjamin and Friends (http://myspace.com/corybenjaminandfriends) : These guys were the 1st band. They weren't that great. They had a song about Invisible Children which I thought was cool. The last time Allison and I went to a show together was at an Invisible Children benefit show at Biola. I met Cory when I was on my way to the Spacepilot merch area. Nice guy.

Platos Republic (http://myspace.com/platosrepublic): This band was a lot better than the 1st. The lead singer had a great voice and was a very skilled guitar player. Good music.

Spacepilot (www.myspace.com/spacepilot) : The band that I wanted to see the most. They played about 5-6 songs. I would have liked to have heard a few more but they weren't the headliners. They played a bunch of new songs which I had never heard before. The played only one song that I had heard. They played well. It was my first time seeing them perform live. I ended up getting a shirt and a cd from them.

The Outline (www.myspace.com/theoutline): This band was pretty darn good. Lots of energy. They played fast and loud which was great. Probably my favorite act of the night.

Polysics (http://www.purevolume.com/polysics): The headliners. These guys are a punk/electronica band from Japan. The had more energy than any band that I have ever seen in my life. The frontman/guitar player was insane! He chugged a whole cup of beer while the female bass player was singing a song. He would venture out into the audience on the tables that were next to the stage. They did a cover of "My Sharona" which was cool. That was the only song that I could understand since I don't speak Japanese.

"We Were Meant For So Much More"

Tonight my friend Ryan and I were on our way to someone's house for a CSULB Campus Crusade pizza party/hangout when I noticed a Larry Flynt strip club on right side of Garden Grove Blvd. I felt like I could sense the emptiness that was coming from that place. I saw a women, whom I assumed was a stripper, driving out of the parking lot. I couldn't see one ounce of fulfillment on her face. She did not look satisfied or content with where her life was, or is going. That woman was meant for so much more than the lifestyle that she probably finds herself in. No human being deserves to be treated like an object.

When it's all Said and Done

Every so often I think about what my funeral would look like if I suddenly died. What would people say about me? Would people genuinely miss me? What kind of person would I be remembered as? Would people be crying? I know that I'm loved and respected by friends and family but I wonder what kind of impact that I have had on the people and places that I have been associatied with.

"For the Life That's Been Reborn, His Love Endures Forever"/ Refocused

This morning I went to my friends Crista and Jenna's church, Southlands Christian Church, in Bell. Crista invited me earlier in the week and told me that there was going to be a choir of former drug addicts and alcoholics. I thought it would ineteresting so I decided to go. I'm glad that I did! It was cool to see these people who have overcome these powerful addictions by the grace of God. While some of the people were giving their testimonies I was thinking how incridibly blessed I was growing up. My parents weren't drug addicts, alcoholics, negligent, or anything else like that. They loved me so much and I always knew that they would be there for me. It's not like a grew up in a Christian household but I was raised with good morals. People in my extended family have battled (and still battle) addictions to alcohol and drugs. A lot of people who tend to abuse substances come from messed up families. Our childhoods are so incredibly important in our development as people. I find it very interesting that there are many pastors come from backrounds of hardcore partying, alcohol, and drugs. People who aren't followers of Christ probably think of pastors as being these really moral/religious people who have a "holier than thou" attitude, when in actuality they were probably more messed up then that person ever was. I always enjoy seeing how God can rescue people from the most destitute situations and and radically transforms them into one of His sons or daughters.
The service also got me refocused. If you didn't know, lately I have been feeling directionless in terms of my life and where I'm going in the present and future. Hearing all of these amazing testimonies helped me to see that I need to be devoting my time to serving God above anything and everything else in my life will work out in time.

First Week Analysis

My first week of school was alright. I'm still getting used to my new sleeping routine. I found that I was exhausted at 11:30pm. During vacation I used to be wide awake at about 2am. 8am classes are not fun! Especially if you know that you wouldn't be there if you only would have tried a little harder a few months ago. Class-wise, the week was dissapointing. I'm taking my first major classes which, going into them, I was kinda excited. Those are the most boring of all the classes that I'm taking! My Accounting prof expects us to know the basics of how to do accounting just by us reading the chapters in the book. I'm not a big fan of class in general. I wish I had a fun class. I know school wasn't designed to entertain me but it would be nice to take a class that I'm half way interested in.
Campus Crusade stuff was great! I was really pumped up to see all the new faces (especially one in particular, if you know what I mean). The biggest thing will be trying to keep the new people within the movement, which is not easy. I just started my pastor Mike Erre's new book "The Jesus of Surburbia" today. Oh my goodness! I was getting goosebumps while I was reading it. If you don't know Mike is my favorite speaker in the world. I'm going to pick it up again after I'm finished with this post. Also, I have become a facebook addict over the past few days which would explain why the blog posts have not been given the most attention. Thanks a lot Jenna. Look what you've done to me. =)

End of Break/Super Stoked

Well, today was our last day of break. It was probably my best break ever! I really enjoyed hanging out with you guys and having no real responsibilities. I'm going to miss the nights of staying up late and sleeping in till 11:30 every morning... I ended up getting a D- in my Math 115 class so I have to re-take it. The only available sections that worked with my schedule were 7am, 8am, and 7pm. I decided to take the 8am class. I told myself that I would never take an 8am class again but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta to do. The last time I took an 8am class was during freshman year. I would routinely hit the sleepies everyday for about an hour or two every afternoon... Oh well. It's my fault for getting the D-.
I'm super stoked about Campus Crusade this semester! During the break I decided that I was going to take a mental vacation from Crusade stuff. It was good. I didn't want to become burnt out. I just got back from my mental vacation about a week ago. I'm really excited about the outreach table, sharing, seeing the crusade crew, seeing Ryan wear his "Hangin' with my peeps" shirt, etc. I'm also super stoked about Crusade at Long Beach State. I'm going to be helping them out with promotion and maybe some other stuff. There is a ton of potential on that campus! I'm really excited!

Prayer

1st of all I would like to say that the state of my core is feeling a lot better and has been for the past couple of days. So that's good.

On Thursday night "Daniel and the Ryan's Den" (DJ, Ryan K, and myself) did two seperate prayer walks at Long Beach State then at Cal State Fullerton. We were praying for our campuses and the different aspects of it where we would like to see change. It was cool. I feel like my prayer life is a weakness. At the Campus Crusade for Christ conference in San Diego Jaeson Ma asked if we wanted to make a commitment to pray for an hour a day for every day of the year. I was about to stand up because my friends did but then I realized that I probably wasn't going to be able to do it. Of course, if I changed my schedule around and made a total effort it would be feasible. But I did not want to lie to God or myself. I strive to read about two pages out of the Bible each day but only occasionally do I read that much... While we were leaving Long Beach I was thinking about a couple places in Scripture where it talks about prayer.

Here they are:
"For truly, I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you". Matthew 17:20.

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours". Mark 11:24

I wish I had this amount of trust and belief that God would answer my prayers. Recently I have been praying for a friend who is having trouble with her knees and wrists. I'm trying really hard to believe that God is going to take care of that. Most of the time when I pray I ask for things that I think would be fantastic if they really happen but I doubt that they ever will.

I was in the word last night and came across a passage that goes along with what I'm talking about. It is where a father of a child with an unclean spirit is asking Jesus' disciples to cast it out from him. This unclean spirit is tourturing this kid by throwing him into fire and water, convulsions, and causing foam to come out of his mouth. The disciples couldn't cast it out but then Jesus steps in.

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23

I love the dad's response:

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

I feel like when I pray that I pray with 50% belief and 50% non belief. I need the Lord to help me with me non-belief.

State of the Core- Not so Good

The state of my core right now is pretty crappy. It's ridiculous. Nothing tragic has happened to me or anything. It's not like a friend/family member died, broke up with a girlfriend, got in a fight, or anything of the sort. My problems are extremely miniscule compared to others. I feel pretty directionless right now. There isn't really any finish line that I'm racing to. I'm just living life with no tangible goals or objectives. I keep telling myself that I'm not depressed but sometimes I'm not so sure. Sometimes I'm just happy, smiling, and laughing. At other times I'm just down for no apparent reason. I don't like the way that the state of my core fluctuates. I guess that's just life though.